Why Low Desire Isn’t a Problem to Fix

Spoiler alert: You’re not broken. You’re probably exhausted.

Let’s start with a truth bomb:

Low sexual desire is one of the most common complaints I hear from women—and also one of the most misunderstood.

We live in a culture that treats desire like a light switch: it should just be on all the time, especially if you're in love, in a committed relationship, or if things are “good.” So, when it's not, people panic.

But here's what no one tells you: desire is responsive. Contextual. Sensitive. And very, very smart.
It doesn't disappear for no reason—it adapts. Especially when you're burnt out, touched out, or emotionally underwater.

Desire isn’t broken. It’s listening.

If your body is saying “not now,” it’s worth getting curious—not judgmental. Most of the women I work with are dealing with:

• Chronic stress and emotional overload

• Mental fatigue from caregiving, working, and managing everything

• Resentment or emotional disconnection in their relationship

• A dysregulated nervous system that feels unsafe relaxing into pleasure

Your desire isn’t “low.”
It’s buried under ten layers of laundry, invisible labor, and a nervous system stuck in high alert.

The goal isn’t to “want sex more.”

The goal is to understand what your body needs in order to feel safe, connected, and open to pleasure again.

And that doesn’t start with lingerie, date nights, or checking off a “sex homework” list.

It starts with:

• Learning how stress affects arousal

• Reclaiming time and space for yourself, not just your partner

• Exploring desire as something that builds—not something you’re supposed to show up with on command

Here’s the reframe:

Low desire isn’t a dysfunction. It’s a message.
One worth listening to with curiosity, not shame.

And when you start tuning in to what your body is saying—rather than forcing it to say what you think it “should”—desire has a funny way of showing up again. Sometimes in new, unexpected, delicious ways.